Right, here we go; at long last we now have an insight into what pictures can be shown on Facebook, and what can’t.

You might remember all that recent fuss in Australia when certain breastfeeding mums thought it a wheeze to publish pics of their intimate milk producing moments on Facebook. Imagine tracking your mum’s profile 15 years later and discovering shots of you hanging off your mum’s teat. That should go down well with the girlfriend.

But as well as mummy lactating shots, there are a number of images that Facebook doesn’t like to show.

Now, top of the list of things you can’t show is semen, although quite why Facebook has a thing against the world’s navys beats me (ho, ho).

But as well as unmentionable fluids from one orifice, you can’t show, apparently, urine, faeces (if you need to look that one up, perhaps you went to the wrong school), or vomit. Now, okay, yes broadly agree with that. Don’t really want to see a person’s tackle out (and active) having just urinated and standing in a pool of his own sick. Can think of better things to look for than that on Facebook.

But what’s surprised many people about the list of can’t show in the pictorial sense, provided by an employee who was perhaps sick themselves of tracking down stained photographs, is earwax.

Erm, odd one that. Okay, I’m not perfectly fond of earwax myself, but perhaps up against semen, it might just win the day.

Just be thankful you’re not the person spending their day trawling for semen, or earwax!